Warning: This one is a quickie because frankly, my mood is rather foul. Read on and you will know why.
Some things to note about exams people, especially TOEFL. Remember my 'The Seven Stages Before (and After) Taking an Exam' post? Forget about that post. This here, is the actual gospel. Just be mindful of the following:
- Never ever write things like "Alright TOEFL, you shall be my bitch tomorrow. Amen" as your Facebook status no matter how hilarious or serious you are. That's just inviting bad karma and mocking the TOEFL God. Bad bad idea.
- Never be cocksure. Pray. Meditate. Bribe (the TOEFL) God. Commune with a higher power (Jack Daniels and Edward Cullen included if that's your God). And never EVER ridicule the God of TOEFL with inane statements such as; "I will kick ass at TOEFL", "I am an English teacher for heaven's sakes; I can do it with my eyes closed" or worse, "TOEFL, you shall be my bitch tomorrow". Yes, I know I've said this but I need to reemphasise this point. Many, many freaking times.
- Never underestimate the paper. Sure, it's easy but it stretches your note taking ability to breaking point. This is especially true in the Speaking and Writing Sections of the paper. You have to remember content from an academic lecture (that sometimes include scientific material - genome project anyone?) that you will listen to only once. ONCE.
- Never leave the studying to the last minute. Although this is common sense but let me briefly paint a picture of what will happen if you do. You will start a TOEFL marathon 48 hours before the test, panic several times, calm down after people tell you that you can nail it (please don't believe them), not sleep, drink coffee and overdose on B-Complex, study even more until you are due to take the test in 8 hours, board a 1 am bus to KL, sleep a little on the way, arrive bleary-eyed at 4 am but totally pumped for the test, wait for three hours for the monorail service to start, realise the monorail is on maintenance, suffer from crippling panic attacks every five seconds while looking for a non-existent cab (where the hell are they when you need them??), call the whole world to tell them the universe is definitely against you and then finally get lost trying to find your way to the test venue. You might arrive there five minutes before test time if you are lucky though. Which is what happened to me...
- ... BUT Never Ever think Lady Luck will smile on you twice. The probability of that happening will be akin to expecting a fork to sing. THIS is more likely to happen though - you will forget to bring your passport because all that late-night cramming has made you less sharp than usual. And you will arrive, cheery and confident as hell, before all that brazen confidence gets shot to shit when they refuse to let you in for forgetting to bring your passport. Apparently that is the ONE and ONLY form of acceptable identification. Throw your MyKad away people because even though your face is visible enough for a snail to see, even though your name is CLEARLY printed and that there could be no mistaking that I, Darshini Nadarajan and not my clone is there to sit for my TOEFL, you will still not be permitted to sit for the test. Therefore, NEVER rely on the highly informative email that they send you with the words "Bring an acceptable form of ID" and think that THAT is sufficient. Please READ the complicated web pages of your TOEFL website before sitting for the test. It will save you from having to yell at, beg, curse, plead with, and threaten a total stranger.
I might perhaps look back one day and laugh at the last one but right now, I'd just like to bang my forgetful brain on my TOEFL books. I'll be taking the test again soon.
This time WITH my passport.
16 wisecracks:
Hahahaha. This is another classic post. Love it although it caused you so much trouble. lol
see now? But i must agree to what etta said : 'in fact they were scared to let you in coz they can't accept the fact that you're AWESOMEE'! :D
Scheisse, Eesha!! Always read the tiny little words in the "terms and conditions" part!
Nice one girl. It's freaking funny the way you write your experience. Sorry, but it's true. Good luck in the next one. This time don't forget to bring your BC,IC and passport. In fact, bring your whole family to verify your identity. LOL
Hi. I have been reading your blog for sometime but never commented. I like the way you ranted on your blog. It's a really witty way of writing. No wonder you have so many followers. I would like to share something about the TOEFL test. From what I can see, you will have no problems scoring high marks. The registration procedure is quite strict I'm afraid. But you could lodge a report all the same and see if they can offer you a refund. Good luck. Hope to read more of your adventures.
Hahaha Darsh! That's just funny. Clone??? Bwahaha
Hehehe this is really really good. Can't stop laughing.
Hi Darshini,
Jeez, call it a coincidence or what but i was there in the TOEFL Centre when you came in to take your exam. I felt bad when they refused to let you in, i found out about the passport requirement when i called them earlier that week. Your right about their email, it was misleading. I did inform this to the test administrator at the centre after the test.
Btw, i found your blog from ragedindian.com, one of the blogs that i religiously follow. Guess now i have another blog to follow, your rantings are hilarious and refreshing.
Good luck for your test.
@JK: OMG. This is freaky as hell. How on earth did this happen?? I'm glad you think the same. I plan to complain but like you, after the test. Don't wanna jinx my chances further. How was the test?? Wait can I email you??
@The Rest: Thanks for the comments guys. Appreciate it.
I DEFINITELY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!! I just finished taking my very first ibt an hour ago and you're right. Never, ever, ever underestimate the real test. No matter how easy the study guides are. No matter how good you know your English skill is.
The TOEFL God must be laughing at me right now.
@Nisrina: Hi there! Thanks for stopping by. I'm taking the test again on the 23rd. How hard was the Speaking and Writing sections?
For the speaking part, the most important thing I didn't anticipate before the test was: how fast they're giving time for us to prepare the answers!!! I was so nervous I would probably sound like someone from some remote tribe trying to speak engrish. Engrish with an R.
I think you need to learn how to prepare clear answer in less than 30 seconds (sometimes 20!) and answer in +/- 45 secs. I thought I would do great for the speaking section, but after giving it a second thought....... maybe not.
Oh, and you do need to concentrate a lot if you're sitting between people who are also doing their speaking section. I was trying to answer a question when suddenly two ppl beside me started to answer their questions (there were 8 people in the room including me). It was crazy as hell.
Writing section wasn't as bad as I thought. You just need to tweak the answer a little bit and give several opinions. Thought I did pretty well since I've started practicing exactly 48 hrs ago (I'll probably score below average but, oh well)
Good luck with your toefl and don't forget to bring your ID! I think you'd do a pretty good job with the writing section coz you seem to blog a lot hehe
"Throw your MyKad away people because even though your face is visible enough for a snail to see, even though your name is CLEARLY printed and that there could be no mistaking that I, Darshini Nadarajan and not my clone is there to sit for my TOEFL" ... this was freaking hilarious.. =)
-leevanea
This is my favourite blog ever!!
Reeta
Hahahaha man you have a talent to crack people up so much. Hell, this post is epic!! I can totally picture the whole situation. Love the way you wrote it.
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